almost lover
by shiksa goddess
Summary: i'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be/ auslly uber-angst.


_Goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye, my hopeless dream.I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?_

/

In truth, she knew they were going to end up together from the time she saw the new practice room. She, being the type to silently observe everyone and everything, also took this as a defining characteristic of Austin's- liked to impress, apologetic. She wasn't sure she liked it.

But then as time moved on, she noticed he was friendly, fearless, and determined. Loyal. Sometimes selfless. And, for whatever reason, ostentatious Austin Moon simply adored meek Ally Dawson.

/

There was no "asking out". They already did things together, and the invitation ran more along the lines of "Hey, I know it's like 5 am, but you wanna see if we can bug any Chinese food places enough to make them give us food?", which then ensued a lot of lo mein and rice on the floor and some really stupid fortune cookies.

So it's not really a big step forward when the restaraunt is sit-down and he just _casually_ mentions that her eyes sparkle under the chandelier lights.

It wasn't awkward in the slightest, even. It was actually kind of wonderful, the rain, the laughter, and the way he kissed her. It might have come as a surprise to them that they were so...natural as a couple, but everyone else already earmarked their wedding.

And, when he grabs her hand when they're writing a song, she thinks that maybe it could be easy.

/

"He just _glows_ when he's with you." Mrs Moon claims. The two women are watching Austin's first big-venue concert, the Tampa Times Forum in Tampa, sitting backstage.

"I think it's the lighting," Ally jokes, but inside she knows his mother is right. Same goes for her though. Her eyes can go from dull to exuberant with just the thought of him, and all the other cliches that follow young love.

Mrs Moon chuckles. "I don't think so, Ally. He's dated several girls before, but I can tell, you're special."

"Thank you, Tampa!" Austin screams to a cheering audience. Running offstage to his two favorite girls, his hair is messy and his cheeks are flushed.

Before he hugs his mother, he kisses Ally. "Love you , Alls!" He yells, running down a corridor to talk to his publicist or some other member of his entourage.

Austin's mother winks. "Welcome to the family."

/

High school graduation quickly faces them, and the expected angst is doubled for Austin and Ally. He's going on his first headlining world tour, and she's going full scholarship to Julliard.

As the tassels go from right to left, Ally watches in slow-motion as her hat flies into the air alongside her heart. And she's not sure where either will land.

So she sits at a picnic bench with Austin, and their new diplomas sit on the table, nearly fluttering away in the breeze.

"So, what's next?"

She's always been a planner, so normally she loved answering the question, because she never doubted the answer. But Austin had become the one thing in her life she could never classify, never organize into one place.

"Us."

"What do you mean?"

Austin pulls out a velvet necklace box. "I don't have an engagement ring for you, but," He takes a deep breath. "Ally, I want you forever. I want you to _be_ my forever. So, marry me, Ally Dawson, and we can be forever."

Ally laughs. "You said forever,like, a hundred times in one paragraph."

Austin's smile wavers. "Is that a yes..or..?"

Ally nods. "It's a yes, Austin."

/

She hates missing his calls. She hates missing him.

_"So, yeah. Concert went well. I miss you, Alls. I'm sure you're thriving at Julliard, but make sure you don't get too wrapped up in anything there. I'm going to need you back in five months. Haha. Okay, I'm gonna go. Love you, Ally. Bye." _

She smiles every time she hears him. Sometimes she'll stay up (much to the annoyance of her roommate) and watch his interviews just to see him.

"So, Austin, would you ever date a fan?" A reporter asks.

Austin chuckles and scratches the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Well, actually,I'm enga- in a relationship." He states.

"With whom?" She pries.

"My songwriter and partner, Ally ..she's amazing. I love her."

The interviewer smiles. "You sound so sure of this."

Austin laughs. "Well, I am. I was a lucky one. I got to meet my soulmate when I was fifteen." He chuckles. "Not something most people can say."

Ally closes the computer lid. Loyalty was something she never had to worry about. He was in her control, he was just so in love.

Hugging the computer to her chest, she whispered, "I'm sure of us, too, Austin."

/

Separation is a horrible thing. She becomes a mess, eyes puffy and hair disheveled everyday.

"You look horrid." Dez would point out whenever he visited from NYU, where he was studying filmmaking.

Ally makes a face at him. "Gee, thanks, Dez. Would you say that to Trish?"

"No. Trish scares me. You, and you know I love you, but you don't intimdate me in the least."

Ally cocks an eyebrow in confusion. "No...I meant because she's your girlfrend."

Dez polishes off one of the Burger King burgers her roomate keeps buying her but she keeps refusing to eat. "Oh, yeah. That too."

She shakes her head. "Do you think he misses me?"

Dez snorts. "I dunno, he only spends all of our conversations talking about you, I think he's moved on." He remarks sarcastically.

Ally smiles. "Well, you can tell him I miss him,too."

Suddenly, Dez's phone vibrates. He peers down at the screen, then hands the phone over to Ally.

He smiles. "Well, now you can tell him yourself."

/

The year is coming to a close, and so is his tour. And so is all the pain and angst that came with his absence. As she prepares to get him from the airport, she jumps around with an air of ectasy that no one at Julliard had ever seen on Ally before.

Her roommate, Maya, watches with skepticism as Ally bounces around the dorm, getting dressed and singing Austin's songs.

"What are you so happy about?" She says, smirking because her friend is making a fool out of herself, a nice change from her routine of moping, class, crying.

"My fiancee is coming back!" She cheers, grabbing her necklace.

"Your fiancee? You and Austin are engaged?"

Ally nods, grabs her keys and starts running out the door. "Bye! See you later!"

"You realize we have finals on Monday! Ally! Whatever, bye."

The door has already slammed shut.

/

She races over to the airport, cursing New York's flooded streets, which she normally loved, for being so,well, flooded. The LED screen on the car's clock read 7:13, which was exactly seventeen minutes until Austin's flight was supposed to land.

By the time she _finally _got to the airport (7:48, to be precise), she saw Austin, standing alone with a rare absence of bodyguards or an entourage, doing something on his phone, a tribal-print scarf tied around his head, supposedly to keep him incognito.

"Austin!" She yelled.

He sighed. "I'm not signing any autogr-" He spun around to see his fiancee, eyes as wide as saucers and sparkling like diamonds in excitement. He let go of his luggage, wrapping his arms around her small frame.

They didn't say anything, just stood in the middle of the airport parking lot, letting people rush by without a glance.

She looked up into his eyes, and he nodded and kissed the top of her head.

"I will never, ever leave you alone that long, ever again." He promises. "I'm going to stay by you, forever and always."

Ally nods, trying not to let a few tears slip down her face. "Promise?"

"Promise." He took her pinky and hooked it in his, and the juvenile gesture made her laugh.

"If this car is not claimed in the next sixty seconds, it will be towed!" An airport official bellows through a bullhorn, pointing at an idled tow truck behind him for emphasis.

Ally looks at the car he meant, her own black Honda. "Oh, shit." She runs over to the car, leaving Austin to chuckle and throw his bag in the backseat. As they drive back to the Julliard campus, which she's probably going to have to smuggle him into, they make small talk, but it was merely a formality. As Austin watched Ally talk on and on about the friends she'd made at Julliard and how her songwriting skills had improved immensely, he smiled at the sound of her voice and the little quirks she had, like stopping too early at any red light so she wouldn't accidentally run it, that made her the girl he loved.

He thought about what he'd told her, so many times now. Forever and always. It was exactly what he pictured with Ally Dawson. She was his, forever.

However long forever may be.

/

After the semester ends that summer, Ally says goodbye to Maya and moves into a pricey apartment overlooking Central Park, now significantly far from school but incredibly close to Austin-he was living there, too.

Sometimes he'll have to fly out and do a few shows, or an interview, but mostly they'll just _live_, watching each other sleep, eating, or planning their forever. Ally sends out the notice later in August, for a wedding that is to be on March 19th, 2017. Tabloids print what they think the wedding will be like, who they assume will be invited (Oprah is on the list, much to Ally's disbelief), and controversial articles on whether nineteen is too young to tie the knot.

Oh, and the ever-cliche "Is Ally Dawson pregnant?" questions that _everyone_ is asking. That was mortifying, especially when her father saw it.

Austin merely shrugged off all the media attention. "Don't worry about it, Alls. It's just a hot story."

"Just a hot story?! Austin, people don't know the truth! They're making all these assumptions about me, about you, about _us_! My own _father_ really believed I was pregnant! Do you realize how awkward it is to tell your own father that you're a virgin? Because, I promise, it's _awkward._ And don't you even care that your media reputation went from being an angelic teen heartthrob to some scandalous asshole who's marrying his songwriter merely because he knocked her up, not because you actually love me? "

Austin laughs. "You're overreacting, Ally." He takes her hand in an effort to calm her down.

"O-overreacting?" She sputters. "I'm not overreacting. I am reacting perfectly normal. Matter of fact, I'm probably _underreacting._" She smirks as Austin chuckles.

"Well, thanks, Ally, for that lovely display of malapropism. Now can you just calm down?" He tries to grab her hand, but she pulls back.

"No! The press is making a fool of us and you don't even seem to care!"

Austin stands from his place on the couch. "That's because I dont! I don't care about some fiction a paparrazzo sold to a tabloid. All I care about is you."

He smiles that heartthrob smile with a little bit of a weary edge to it, and she _wants_ to believe him, to crawl into his arms and remember all over again why she was in love with him.

But there was that small, nagging part of her-damn conscience- that knew it wasn't true.

/

That night, Austin lays half-asleep, huddled under their blue comforter, as Ally stays wide awake.

"Do you love me?" She whispers into the pitch-black.

"Mrrhr." Comes Austin's groggy reply.

Ally flips on the bedside light, abruptly jerking Austin back to conciousness.

"Ally, what the hell?" Austin asked,irritated.

"I said, do you love me?" Tears she didn't want pricked her eyes.

"Huh? Of course I love you."

Ally shook her head. "Tell me that you mean it. Tell me how much I mean to you. Tell me that you'd do anything for me. "

"I mean it, you mean everything to me, and I'd do anything for you." He repeated.

Ally felt thatt something just wasn't right, that something was misaligned. An idea crossed her mind, and idea that had at one time been forbidden territory.

"Tell me that I'm the _only _one."

"Ally Dawson, you are the only one I love. What do you think, I'm cheating on you or something?! That's ridiculous!" Austin yelled, then smiled with feigned sincerity. Allly's observant instincts kicked in, noticing how defensive he'd gotten and how his eyes shifted, as if he'd been telling a story.

Ally sobbed. She threw herself out of bed and started throwing her neccessities into a small duffel bag.

"Alls, what are you doing?"

"I'm packing. I'm going home." She throws a few last things and decides he can deal with the rest.

"Why?" He asks, trying to evade that he wanted to cry.

"Because," She stands in the doorframe of their bedroom.

"You didn't mean it."

/

On her 5:30 am flight back to Miami, the earliest one she could book last-minute, a flight attendent informs her that "Delta Blue airlines prides themselves on having the finest snacks, hottest movies, and newest magazines."

She's never really been a Hunger Games fan, so the _Mockingjay: Part 2 _movie wasn't necessarily enticing. Ally settled on a copy of US Weekly from her backseat pocket. Anything to get her mind away from Austin.

But guess whose face was on the front cover. She couldn't really avoid a huge celebrity.

_Austin Moon's Scandalous Evening_.

Ally rolled her eyes. What pictures of her and Austin had the press gotten ahold of this time?

Then it hit her that maybe it _wasn't _her and Austin.

She debated with herself as to whether she'd read it or not.

_If he was telling the truth, I'll go back. _She figured. _If not,well...I don't know._

She took a deep breath. She was going to find out sometime.

Ally flipped through the glossy pages, and smack-dab in the middle of everything, was a photo of Austin. _Kissing another girl._

Tears spilled down her face, teardrops chasing one another down her face until they hit her chin and dropped onto the magazine.

"I knew it." She whispered to herself. "_I just knew it._"

She glanced over the article.

_Austin Moon caught cheating on his fiancee?_

_Austin Moon was spotted at a press party for his new album, without his fiancee/songwriter Ally Dawson. Sources say he was pursued by a young female, but resisted her advances. Later that night, he was seen intimately with the same girl. Apparently they spent a little while upstairs...what is this nineteen year old megastar hiding?_

Ally was overwhelmed by her sobs. He'd offered to take her to the party, but she had to go to one of Maya's first productions in the New York City Ballet Company.

Not knowing what to do, Ally used Skype to make a call to the only person she knew would _never _let her down.

She heard the dial tone buzzing as she anticipated the voicemail. It _was_ only 6:15.

"Hello?" A voice said groggily.

"Daddy?"

"Oh, hey, Ally-cat! Why are you calling me at this ungodly hour?"

"Because...daddy, I don't know how to tell you this, but-"

"You're pregnant?"

"What?! No! We just had that discussion a few days ago! But no, actually, I'm coming home!" She cheered with fake enthusiasm.

"You're coming home..today? Now? Why?"

"Beause, Austin has...fidelity issues."

"What?"

Ally bit her lip and closed hey eyes, but the tears didn't subside.

"Daddy, he cheated on me."

She could almost hear her fathers' heartbreak. "I'm sorry, baby. You know you always have a home to come back to here. I'm sure Trish will be happy to see you. Oh, and Dez, I think he's back for the summer as well."

"Thanks, daddy."

She hung up, put the magazine away, and fell asleep, trying to forget who Austin Moon ever was.

/

Three weeks later, she felt right back at home. She spent time with Trish and Dez, who, for her sake, pretended like Austin never existed, just as she was doing.

She, in a sense, was delusional. Pretending like Austin didn't exist. Pretending like she didn't have just three more weeks until she was supposed return to Julliard, and subsequently New York. And _him._

"This cannot be healthy!" Trish whispered to Dez, glancing over at Ally, who was happily sipping her virgin Strawberry Daiquri.

"What?"

"This whole...pretending thing. We can't keep up this facade that Austin doesn't exist much longer. And aside from that, I don't like seeing her like this!

"Like what?"

Trish glared at her boyfriend. "You are an _idiot_ sometimes!"

She got off her beach towel and sat down on Ally's.

"Hey, Ally!" She cheered with false enthusiasm.

"Hey, Trish!" Ally said, matching her cheery tone mockingly.

"So...you do know you're going to have to move back in with Austin, right?"

Ally frowned. "Austin? Who's Austin?"

Trish sighed. "Your fiancee...?"

Ally laughed. "I'm just playing, Trish. I know who Austin is. But I'm not moving back in with him. I'm moving back into the dorm with Maya."

"You're going to have to see him some day."

Ally brushed sand off her towel, melancholic. "I know. I just..I'm not ready to see him."

Her phone started ringing- _Heard it on the Radio_, she still hadn't changed her ringtone- Austin's face pops up.

She stays stoic when Trish watches for a reaction. "Answer it!" She pesters. Ally leaves it to ring.

"He left a voicemail." Trish informs. "I'm going to listen to it."

Normally Ally would take the phone back, or yell, but today she does nothing, which Trish apparently takes as a "Hey, yeah, go for it!"

Trish's eyes widen as she listens to the voicemail.

"Ally...you're gonna have to be ready. He lands at Miami International-_tonight._"

/

It is just about the longest car trip Ally's ever been on, though the airport is only thirty minutes from her house.

Dez drives as he and Trish sing along to the radio.

_"You make me, feel like I'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on."_

She tries to tune out the deafening songs (there _was_ a reason they weren't the musicians, after all)instead watching the clouds as they whizz by.

Only when darkening evening skies morph to grey cement does she realize that they're at the airport.

As they wait for Austin to come out in his new brown wig- a nice change from the tribal scarf, she admits- because Austin Moon is a _down-to-earth _and _low-key_ celebrity, as the magazines praise, Ally watches the other airport-goers.

She spies a man in a camoflauge uniform enveloping a pretty young girl in his arms, an elder man with his arm around his assumed wife, and a tired-looking but pretty mother lauging with her son, a boy with an Unaccompanied Minor badge around his neck, an item Ally recognized from her many summer trips to her mother's.

And she smiles with envy, as well as happiness, because that's what airports are to her.

Despite the hustle and bustle, the ever-annoying security lines, and the heavy luggage, airports were supposed to be a place of reunion, and happiness.

All she gets is remorse.

There he is, she'd recognize the amber eyes anywhere. He smiles at Dez and Trish and motions for them to pop the trunk open as Ally turns the other way so she doesn't have to see him.

After stowing his luggage, he hugs Trish and Dez hello.

"So where's All-" He says, bumping into her.

Her retinas bore into his for a nanosecond before they both looked down.

Trish turns around, putting her sunglasses on as Dez starts pulling out of the airport.

"C'mon. You guys are in denial, we all know you're still in love. At least exchange pleasantries. Be civil."

Silence.

/

It starts with hello, all over again.

"Hi, I'm Austin Moon, and I'm engaged to a girl named Ally Dawson." He announces, sticking his hand out to shake Ally's in one of his mock introductions.

"Poor girl." She remarks monotonously, reshelving a few musical score books for _Into The Woods_.

"Ally, we have to talk." He nearly yells, exasperated at his..whatever- she- is -to- him- now's stubbornness.

"I'm sorry, Austin, but I know what you mean by _"talk"._ You want to take me somewhere, woo me over again, and make me forget everything that's happened, so you get off scot-free. But it doesn't work like that."

He knows she's right. But he's not willing to give her up.

"Then how _does _it work?"

Ally slams down the pile of beginning piano books she was about to shelve. "It works like this. What's my favorite restaraunt here in Miami?"

"The Grand Bandslam." He responds immediately,as if to prove just how well he knew her.

"Right. So we're going to meet there tonight, because if nothing else, we are more than capable of having a simple, diplomatic conversation. Right?"

"Right."

"Okay, so we'll meet there at eight. If you truly do love me, you'll make sure to be there. Now go away, I'm not used to seeing you again yet."

/

It's 7:56, and there's no Austin Moon to be seen. _He has four more minutes, _remembers. Ally sits alone in a corner, as usual, amidst the mass of chewing, laughing, companioned restarauntgoers.

"Would you like a refill, ma'am?" The young, blond waiter asks. She feels kind of ridiculous being called _ma'am_ by a guy who was probably a few years older than her, but she just hands him her empty Sprite glass and says "Yes, please."

Eight o' clock comes, and he hasn't shown up. She waits patiently for a few minutes, as she is a reasonable person, and menial things like getting stuck in traffic don't mean that he doesn't love her. But thirty minutes pass, then an hour, and then it's nine-thirty.

Being one of the few stragglers in the restaraunt, the waiter keeps coming by, refreshing her drink.

He takes her dinner plate and hands her a slice of chocolate cake.

"It's on the house." He smiles warmly. "You look like you could use it."

Ally smiles pitifully. "Thanks."

The waiter sits down on the other side of her booth. "So, what asshole do I need to beat up for standing up such a gorgeous girl like you?"

"You're sweet. But this is something Austin had to figure out."

"Austin? Wait- you're Ally Dawson, Austin Moon's songwriter! And fiancee. Well.." He trails off.

She smiles sarcastically. "Yup, that's me!" She takes a bite of the chocolate cake. "But I commend you on remembering I'm his songwriter,too. It seems like most people just remember that I'm his fiancee."

The waiter laughs."No problem. Though with your looks, you _could _be a trophy wife." He laughs, and she smiles because she can tell this is a real compliment, and not some asshole trying to make a move on her.

"I'm sorry he never showed up."

Tears welled in her eyes. "It's okay." She lies, polishing off the cake. "At least he stopped lying to himself."

/

Ally'd slipped the waiter- who's name was George- a ten for being so generous, and he'd given her a card with his number on it.

"Call me, maybe." He laughed. "I know we just met and all, and the whole situation is crazy, but hey, why not?"

She took the card graciously. " I'll do that."

Back in her car, reeling from the whole night, she searched for her phone to program in George's number. And, y'know, maybe call Austin.

_6 New Messages from Trish De la Rosa, Dez Spinner, Dad/Lester_

**6:27 pm; Dez Spinner: Hey, Alls, have you seen my beach towel? I think I left it w/you.**

**6:30 pm; Dez Spinner: Nvm. I found it on my head. C u later! **

**7:45; Dad/Lester: hey honey how do you text message on these iphones? luv ya!**

**7:56; Trish De la Rosa: Ally. Ally. Come to Miami General Hospital, and fast! Austin's been in a car accident.**

**7:59; Trish De la Rosa: It doesn't look good. PLEASE RESPOND!**

**8:30;Trish De la Rosa Ally. I'm not kidding. Come quickly.**

Ally's face went from teary to shocked to teary to solemn.

In a matter of seconds, her whole world had been flipped around. Why hadn't she checked her phone? Why had she spent the whole night feeling sorry for herself, when Austin...well, who knew?

Turning on the ignition, Ally stepped on the accelerator. It didn't move. The car had stalled out.

"Oh, no, no, no!" Ally screeched. Grabbing her purse, she ran back to the restaraunt.

"George!" She exclaimed. "I need a favor."

The blonde waiter looked up from the table he'd been wiping down. "What is it?" He smiled.

"I need you to give me a ride to the 's there, and-"

"Ally, chill, I'll do it. My shift ends in like, ten minutes anyways."

The ride to the hospital was long and silent. George turned on the radio to an upbeat mainstream station, and soon enough, Austin's old hit _Heard It On the Radio _came on.

"You wrote this, eh?"

Ally nodded. "Well, mostly me. Austin helped."

"You and Austin are both really talented. I hope everything works out." He pulled into the hospital's parking lot.

"Thank you, George." She climbed out. "For everything."

/

"Excuse me, where is Austin Moon's room?" Ally said smoothly, maintaining the same _cool,calm,collected_ disposition she usually carried to mask the destruction that was deteriorating her innards.

"Are you his next of kin?" The receptionist lady asks blankly.

"I'm his wife. " She sort of-fibs.

"Well, Mr Moon is in the ER right now, you may or may not be able to see him."

"What room?"

"4-116"

Ally collects her things and heads up the elevator, not having a clue what'll meet her when she gets there.

/

"Austin!" Ally exclaims, closing her eyes, so she wouldn't have to see the damage.

"Ally!" Austin yells, almost mocking her enthusiasm.

She cautiously tiptoes into the room, eyes still covered.

Austin chuckles. "Ally, you can open your eyes. I don't look as bad as I actually am."

Ally peeks through her fingers, seeing only a mass of hospital sheets. She uncovers her eyes. Austin still looked like Austin, just with bruises and cuts and tourniquets

She rushes over, into his outstretched arms, gingerly attempting to wrap her arms around him.

"Ow." "Ow." "OW!"

Ally ends up just laying an arm across his chest, uncomfortably squished in the small hospital bed with her fiancee, his arms sort of enveloping her. He kisses her head.

"How did this happen?" She squeaks, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Well, I was getting ready for our date, and then I realized that I'd forgotten to pack any socks. At all. So, there's a Target right across from my house, remember? So I said 'Why drive?' and I just walked. I bought the socks, but when I went to cross the street back, this dude ran the red light- and hit me."

"So, you're telling me this whole thing was caused by a fucking lack of socks?"

Austin laughs. "Well, when you put it that way, it sounds rather idiotic."

"It is! I mean, I love you, Austin, but geez, you can be _quite_ stupid sometimes."

"Well, I'm not the smartest person alive, like you, Miss Einstein. After all, I'm just a pop star." He teases.

She scoffs. "Yeah, just of of the most influential pop stars of the decade, what a pity for you."

"I love you, Ally. I really do."

"Forever and always." She smiled at their old mantra.

"Forever and always." He grins, too, then breaks into song, the old Parachute song, _Forever and Always, _the one Ally had listened-and cried- to whenever she needed songwriting inspiration.

" _I, love you forever, forever and always, please just remember, even if I'm not there. I'll always love you, forever and always."_

Ally's tears are flowing faster, harder. "Why would you sing _that_ part?" She half-teases.

"I just love you so much, Ally Dawson. And I want to thank you for giving me the best years of my life, with you. "

Ally was sobbing, a sight that Austin saw only a few times. It always made him cry,too.

"Stop that! Stop talking like you're going to die because you're not! You're going to be just fine!" She shrieked.

She felt like crumpling up to the floor and sobbing until the world just flooded, but miracles happened everyday, right? And who said they couldn't be a miracle?

"It's supposed to be our wedding day." Ally whispers.

Austin's eyes widen. "Oh my God. You're right. It was. Well, _before _you called it off."

"Well, you..you." She almost reminded him that he cheated, but she couldn't. She loved him and he loved her and it almost seemed impossible that anyone else had ever existed, because suddenly all she could remember was right there, right then.

"Excuse me, miss, but visiting hours are almost up." A nurse says timidly. Ally nods, climbing out of Austin's bed. She needs a few hours away from this, away from the drama, away from Austin, actually, to reconfigure just what exactly is happening. It seems as if her whole world has been twisted 360 degrees just in the past few hours.

"I love you,too, Austin. Forever and always." She rasps, her voice raw and hoarse, the melodious tone gone. She kisses him with a burning passion, as if it really _is _their last kiss.

"I'll see you later, Austin.I love you." And she walks out of the room.

"Bye, Ally. I love you." He replies quietly. Tears well in his eyes.

Trish walks into the room, bringing her goodbyes and a fresh cup of 7-11 coffee.

"You didn't even tell her." She accuses Austin, handing him the cup of coffee.

"She didn't need to know. She was already distraught enough, don't you think?" He says, a little sharply.

"Oh, yeah, Austin, she didn't need to know that you have about a 20% survival rate? Or that,hm, I don't know, you're most likely not going to make it through the night? That you're fucking bleeding internally? I think your fiancee needs to know these things."

"I hinted at it. I just wanted her to be able to be free of that heavyweight, even for a few more hours. I did it because I love her."

"Love her? I know you love her. But boy, Austin, you're leaving a lot of unfinished business. Your career, for one. And you and Ally never got married. You never even apologized officially for cheating on her."

"_**And how can I help that?**_" He yells, heartbroken and furious all at once. He crosses his arms and pretends that tears aren't welling in his eyes.

Trish smiles pitifully. "I'm going to miss you, Austin." She says. Always the strongest one of the group, she didn't shed a tear. Leaning down to hug him, she kissed his cheek.

"Take care of her for me,okay?" He says weakly.

"I will." And there it is. The moment that Trish de la Rosa would actually cry. She choked back a sob, and wonders how any of them are going to live without Austin.

"Bye, Austin." She says, sobbing.

"Bye, Trish."

/

When Ally wakes up the next morning, a horrible feeling overwhelms her. And suddenly, she just _knows._

"_**Austin's dead!**_!"

She's screaming bloody murder. She runs down the stairs into her father's awaiting arms and solemn face.

"He's dead! He's gone, he's gone, Austin's gone!" She sobs hysterically. Lester simply strokes her hair, but he doesn't dare tell her _it's okay._

He'd gotten the call that morning at around five from a shattered Mrs Moon. His heart had sunk for Austin, the Moons, and his own little girl.

She's still sobbing and screaming, and as the doorbell rings, he lifts her, bridal style, so she doesn't have to be alone and carries her to the door.

Trish and Dez wait at the door, both with puffy, tearstained faces. Lester nods at them both, and transfers Ally to Dez's arms.

"I almost feel bad that I didn't react as bad as this." Trish comments, rubbing her best friend's back as Ally lets out hysterical sobs.

"Well, you didn't lose your soulmate. Plus, you kind of saw it coming."

Trish nods. "How are we going to fix this? Things will not ever go back to any sort of normal."

"We can't fix it, Trish. The best thing we can do is honour Austin's wishes and take care of Ally."

Trish frowns. "I suppose you're right. For once."

/

There is an instance where Ally thinks that maybe this is all a she's in a mental hospital, imagining things, and Austin is really just the lovable semi-jerk he was two months ago, waiting at their New York home.

But staring at his lifeless body in a casket told her otherwise.

She sort of finds herself hating eulogies, commemerations. They seem so plasticized, so forced. Friends of Austin gave their last farewells, though she wondered just how well they'd known Austin, as for the past however many years she'd known him, (Five? It seemed like forever) he hadn't bothered to get in contact with him, nor had they to him.

"Words cannot explain what the loss of my son has done to me, to my family, and many others. He had such a huge impact on the world, at such a young age. Such a handsome, kind, and all-around wonderful young man. I'm honoured to call him my son. I will always hold him in my heart, and I know y'all will, too. God bless you,Austin. I love you."

Mrs Moon's eulogy was almost _fake._ It just seemed to monotonous to be real. Once she stepped off the podium, syhe came over and patted Ally's shoulder.

"I think you should go next, hon." She said, voice shaking. Ally wanted to protest- public speaking obviously wasn't her forte- but she just pursed her lips and nodded.

"I can't say that I was in love with Austin Moon the minute I saw him But I certainly knew he was special. There came times when I thought I might actually hate him. But then, he let his guard down-and so did I- and I think I realized who he was. This fearless, headstrong, and immensely good-hearted man, he was just amazing. And the best part was that, well, he loved me, too. Sure, Austin made mistakes. We all do. It's weird to think that I've only known him for five years, but I learned so much from him in that time. To laugh easily, live fearlessly, and love deeply. He always used to tell me that we would be forever and always. I believed him then. I believe him now. So, Austin, you are my forever and always. I love you, so much. And though you're not here with us right now, you'll live on with all of us, forever and always."

The funeral guests actually _clapped_ for her when she concluded. Ally realized that when she was talking about Austin, or _to_ Austin for that matter, she'd never really been afraid.

A smile actually danced across her face.

/

"I think it's finally hit her." Trish whispered to Dez.

Chewing off another piece of ham, Dez nodded. "Of course, something's hit her. I mean look, she's already deciding to give up her scholarship to Julliard."

"She's going to have to grow up, one of these days. You realize that, right?"

"Trish, don't be so insensitive! Its only been a month, anyways. And, I mean, what would you do if you lost me?"

Trish pondered for a moment. "You're right. I just want our old Ally back. "

/

"_Austin?"_

_"Shh, it's not really me. It's just a dream, Alls."_

_"Austin! I've missed you so much. Why did you leave me?"_

_"I didn't want to, Ally. It's just- it's very complicated, okay? I need you to trust me. "_

_"I do trust you."_

_"Good. Now, Ally, you have to be okay for me, right? I don't like seeing you sad. You know that."_

_"But how can I be okay when I know that I'll never see you again?"_

_"You'll see me again, Ally. I promise. But for now, you have to live your life without me."_

_"I have no life without you."_

_"Don't be silly, you've got Dez and Tri- look, Ally, I have to go. I'll see you soon. I love you."_

She giggles._ "I love you too. Forever and always?"_

He walks away, waving as he goes. _"Forever and always."_

_/_

Ally awakes with a start. She jumps out of bed, racing to the bathroom. Trish is woken up by all the commotion, and, as she was appointed Ally's "guardian" while her father was away, follows her best friend's footsteps.

Ally was standing at her Formica bathroom counter, grabbing pill bottles and filling a cup with water.

"Ally! What are you doing!" Trish exclaims, knowing full well what her friend was attempting to do. She swiped the pill bottles away.

"I have to see Austin!" Ally said, relatively calm.

"No! Ally, it is _not _worth it. Austin would be heartbroken, don't you think?"

Ally takes the pill bottles back, hysteric tears streaming down her face, hot and steady."No! He told me forever and always, and God damn it that is what I'm going to get!"

Before Trish can get the pills back, Ally jumps onto the lid of her toilet and holds them high above Trish's reach. Ally's got a crazy, dangerous look in her eyes,and Trish can't do anything but try and jump, to no avail.

She dials 911, heartbroken for her best friend and scared to death at the same time.

As soon as Ally sees her chance-when Trish is relaying the address to a 911 operator- she twists open the pills and stuffs as many in her mouth as she can, downing them with the water.

"_Ally, no!" _Trish screams, and the phone clatters to the floor.

"_I have to be with Austin!" _Ally shrieks, struggling to release herself from her friend's Heimlich maneuver grip. "_I have to be with Austin!"_

And then the world goes black.

/

"Ally, stay with us!" Trish pleads as the ambulance takes them closer and closer to a hospital. "You have to be okay." She grasps her best friend's hand. She cries again, because this is all too much. One of her best friends just died and she just watched another attempt suicide. It's almost a horrifying thought that possibly all she has left in the world is Dez and her estranged parents.

EMT's are attempting to pump Ally's stomach, but it's not an easy task when the ambulance is speeding along down the rocky, pothole-filled Miami roads. By the time they get to the hospital, Trish is left in the dust as Ally is taken to some unknown room.

Not knowing what else to do, she calls Mr Dawson and then Dez. All three of them sit in the waiting room in a horrible atmosphere of grief, anxiousness, and silence.

Trish has her head on Dez's shoulder and he's stroking her hair and she's grasping Mr Dawson's hand for comfort (she was always like his second daughter) an hour later, and a doctor comes in.

When he solemnly shakes his head, she can't help but think that maybe she already knew.

Trish tends to know a lot of things.

/

In death, Ally finds, the "light" at the end of the tunnel is just what you were missing in your life. Maybe, for some, it was a utopian city. Maybe it was an old pet, or friend, or even a lost memory. For her, it was Austin.

He smiles at her. "You look beautiful."

Her transparent figure is draped in a flowing white dress, and her brown hair is gleaming in this endless stream of light. She returns his grin. "Thank you."

He holds out his hand, and she takes it. It's so familiar that she almost thinks her hand has literally conformed to fit in the shape of his.

She looks ahead of her, not knowing what lurks in the crevices of this place. But she has an eternity to find it. And an eternity with _him_.

As they start walking towards whatever lay ahead, she realizes that she is truly happy. Truly home.

"I love you, Ally Dawson." He whispers in her ear, once again.

She giggles. "Forever and always?"

He nods. "Forever and always."

/

_Should've known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do._

/

fin.

**Disclaimer: I don't own A&A, nor do I own "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen. Or Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy, nor Forever and Always by Parachute. **

**I only own George. **

**A/N:**

**Ally, my dear, you're a little cray. **

**Well, we don't always get happy endings. **

**Though if you want to take Ally's death-like thing as happy, go for it. **

**I wrote this back in like, March, on my 13th birthday, woot. And then I edited it fifty billion times. **

**I'm actually sort of proud of it. Except it's rushed and stuff. **

**I apologize. **

**This is the legit only time I will ever be able to write Auslly angst. I think.**

**Bye. **


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